One of the hardest things about being a mother of a teenager is being a stepmother. Relationships, however, are very important. There is a need for teens to have strong female influences in their lives in order to deal with peer pressure, the media, and to make it through the difficult teen years as well.
The task of being that influence to a teen girl, especially one who may resent her stepmother, can be particularly challenging.
Making It Through the Bad
You may experience some resentment or negative feelings from your new stepdaughter if you’re a newer stepmother. Being a new stepdaughter can be challenging, whether she thinks you are replacing her real mother or isn’t ready for a mother yet.
It’s not uncommon to feel resentment after a while as a step mother due to the hormones and problems that occur during the teenage years. It can be difficult for a teenager to accept so many new things.
Here are some tips to help you get over these feelings:
- Talk things out as much as you can. Communication is one of the most important aspects of all kinds of parenting, but it becomes even more important in the relationship between a teenage girl and her stepmother. Whenever there’s a problem with curfew, try to talk things out calmly and rationally. Even if there is a deeper issue, try to resolve it. To make family problems easier to handle, don’t be afraid to begin therapy if necessary.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. To make the situation easier, ask friends, family, or co-workers for help. Sometimes we all need a shoulder to cry on!
- Money should not be confused with love. While it’s easy to think you can buy someone’s affection, that’s not true in the long run. If you’re a new stepmother, don’t use money to solve the problem, and if you’re a new stepdaughter, don’t fall for it.
- Make family nights a priority. Whether you like it or not, you are a family. Make family traditions and events that honor past families as well as the new one you are building. Moreover, make your family feel like a ‘real’ family rather than a replacement for having ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ together forever.
- You need to be patient. There is a good chance things will go badly. You may find that your teen doesn’t want to talk some nights and may not want to be quiet other nights. All of it should be taken with a grain of salt.
Being a Stepmother to a Teenage Girl
Do you still think being a stepmother to a teenage girl is hard? Be a great influence on your teen by following these tips:
- Never let her ignore your compliments. Tell her she’s beautiful all the time. It’s sometimes enough to hear something like that to make it seem real.
- Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your stepdaughter, focus on what she does well. Make sure she builds on those strengths.
- Engage her in empowerment events, films, and other outlets to help her develop a positive image of herself. Don’t be afraid to let your imagination run wild!
- Make her father feel included in the process and create a positive image of what a great marriage looks like. When your teen sees these types of impressions, she can figure out what she should look for in a relationship.
Stepmoms and Teens
A teen in the household can complicate the transition to a new family. Teenagers are at a wonderful crossroads in their lives where they can explore the world. Teenagers, however, still find it frustrating sometimes. Despite the challenges of being a stepmom, both will make it through these years.